After many months of switching cities in true Digital Nomad form, I am now in London.

These trips had taken the form of covid-safe tourism (Buenos Aires Feb-Apr 2022), short term networking trips (joined a San Francisco incubator in May), and logistical nightmares (collecting scattered belongings from across Europe). All along, I promised myself I would revamp the 30d30d mindset. Again and again, I failed. I could not get myself to spend time on apps in Buenos Aires. Why? When I love the city so much? When it is so easy to build community & find adventures, and the vibrant locals are so lovely?

But Buenos Aires is, I realized, simply too far. Far from the rest of my North American life.

Or what about San Francisco? I spent May 2022 there, and found myself loving life, but too work focused. I networked all the time and met great people, but not people to date. I also felt I had found “my people” at last, yet was torn to be so far from Europe.

Now I’m in London. And I’ve finished all my ‘continent’ logistical trips. As I sit back to write this, I realize I finally have something to say again – within 2 weeks, I’ve (arguably) been on 4 ‘dates’! YES.

So, on to the first.

American engineer Brian. He’s been working in London since January. A couple of weeks ago, I went on a Bumble swiping spree while sipping on an Aperol Spritz with friends in the Breakfast Club speakeasy (‘I’m here to get lucky’) in Borough. I finally followed up on them. I wasted no time texting Brian; he seemed happy, friendly, into exploring London. That was good enough for me. We agreed to meet for drinks.

Yet, going into this date, I felt myself dreading it. Somehow, my body just knew there wouldn’t be good conversational chemistry. I was anticipating stress, rather than fun. Was it a self fulfilling prophecy? I wonder.

I showed up. Brian was waiting for me inside the bar in his navy t-shirt. We exchanged pleasantries. I fumbled some words, which seemed to confuse him. Bad start. We managed to order drinks and got outside. Now we were leaning against a rail, right along the Thames on a beautiful day, chatting. Most of the talk was about being engineers, or being Americans abroad. Brian was friendly. He took turns in conversation, and usually was a good listener. But, it mainly felt like he didn’t get me. I also got little hints that our values were misaligned. Like, when I shared stories of difficulties dating as an MBA, since guys mostly sought females outside the ‘power circle,’ his reaction was enamoration with the Harvard-Harvard ‘power couple’ ideal. Or, when he shared a story about friends swindling others, with a hint of admiration at childhood exploits. We quickly got to ordering our second drinks but I just got water.

In retrospect, these were things I could have picked up sooner by actually having text conversations first. Lesson re-learned. Though I don’t regret the date at all. Dipping your toe back in is always good! All in all, he was a nice guy, and I wouldn’t mind joining him for karaoke or group drinks sometime. But there simply wasn’t any partner material there for me.

He clearly sensed this, texted me the next day suggesting we had a ‘friend’ vibe & that was ok. I’m grateful for his perceptiveness & might lean on him as a friend in the future!