I managed to find my way to the US for Christmas this year. A big undertaking, big accomplishment, minimized risks. It was a big priority to see my parents this year so I found a way! (Said “easy way” involved flying Frankfurt to Boston, self-isolating in Maine for 5 days, then driving all the way to Chicago.)
On the way I had opportunity to see a few old friends in Boston. One of these friends was Justin, a smart Italian PhD electrical engineer and researcher at MIT who I’ve known for years through my friends circle. We always flirted. He usually had a girlfriend. I was usually too timid to tell him I had feelings for him.
Flashback to March of this year. I had visited Boston for a conference and made a point of seeing him. I had recently decided to take life by the horns, go after people I liked, be open about my feelings, take chances!! And Justin always flirted with me, and I always liked him, so it was always a mystery why we had never actually dated. I developed a hypothesis that it was me — my inhibitions, my lack of showing how he made me feel. So, I set my mind to change that. We had met, and I had put the question to him. He said he just didn’t feel anything, but I told him confidently he was wrong, that I always held myself back, and if I didn’t, he would fall for me… He seemed intrigued. And the next day I had to go to California for a family function, then would return to NYC where I sorta-lived. I pondered visiting him again at the end of the month, perhaps moving to Boston and giving it a real chance. This was a brewing plan!
Instead, a week later I would end up stranded in the Czech Republic as the whole world went to hell.
Fast forward to December. I’m passing through Boston. Texting several friends for socially distanced coffee hellos. Don’t think he’ll respond.
He does. He seems to really want to see me.
I made it happen. We meandered through an Eataly and landed in a wine bar, under the guise that I would give him some start up advice. We were both super impressed with each other. He told me proudly that he’s currently single. We talked forever about personal stuff. I felt like all my 30d30d learnings came into play. I pivoted the convo away from work, dug deeper into his family and his dreams and fears. We both felt special. In sum, I really enjoyed being with him. And it seemed mutual! (He is very vocal about these things.)
Nothing happened when we ended the night. Damn covid and damn masks. But … I see potential. Is it worth spending more time in Boston to find out???