Kris, another old friend from college, was not originally intended to be a date. I always thought he was cute, but when we first met, he was honestly way too young for me! Still, I always noticed a spark of joy emanating from him, such positivity, energy around exploration. Even through the dark years of the program. We mutually enjoyed bringing people together. He was also my secret Swiss chocolate source 🙂

I’m visiting Zurich again, and I let him know it — he had pulled a guilt trip when I didn’t notify him about my birthday visit. It’s possible I’ve been on his mind more than I thought. So we set a date, which he almost canceled because he’d had no sleep the night before, but I guilted him, he kept it, took the train in, and was overjoyed to see me (even though I was 15 minutes late!)

Our planned 1.5 hour catchup stretched into hours and hours! We meandered from the station past many gluhwein booths, reacted with joy to folks merrily eating both outside AND INSIDE restaurants (!!), and eventually landed inside a restaurant/theater. There, we just caught up, for ages. I broke my no-drinking rule and had 2 gluhweins to his 3 beers. We revealed a lot more about ourselves than we had in the past.

At one point, he brought up a thought experiment of “I’m curious to think about: how would we be together as a couple!” It took me totally off guard! And it wasn’t unwelcome. Now, 3 years since first meeting him, he was no longer too young for me, and I rather enjoyed spending time with him.

I’m not sure what our answer was. He was very open about a topic that’s tough me, probably a concern for many other high achieving women – that when he’s attracted to a woman’s brain, he’s typically not physically attracted to them too. He said he suspected the same pattern might emerge with me — and he really admires my brain — but it wasn’t a conclusive statement. While this conversation hit at a vulnerability and fear I’ve felt most of my life, it was kinda great to be able to talk about it so openly and vulnerably!

I’m not putting any pressure or long-term expectations. But if I do end up in Switzerland for longer (which, by the way, is not an impossibility…), Kris is definitely one to keep tabs on. He checks all the boxes, is uplifting, and just pleasant to be around. Is there something more here? Hmmmm.