Sometimes I think I’m pretty clever. But from the second Quinn opened his mouth, I couldn’t for the life of me place his accent. Italian? “Nope.” Ah I know, it’s Argentinian! “Nope.” Ok, say something in Spanish. “Hola.” Oh you’re Spanish! The charming, quirky voice was an exact replica of Enigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin!) from the Princess Bride. I should’ve seen it sooner; according to him, everyone else does…

Here was a shy, funny, inquisitive, attractive physicist-turned-programmer (like me! in the past) who hasn’t dated much in the few years since his divorce. I really liked him. He was just a joyful, lovable person. Quinn had suggested a beer/walk. I parked my bike, and we turned the corner and started walking down some unknown long street in Mitte. No tour guiding. Plenty of chat. Quinn’s was THE longest and most thorough and intriguing profile I had ever read on a dating app, and I had fully expected him to dominate conversation. But he didn’t.

My stomach was grumbling, so we opted for dinner at an initially-appealing later-overpriced Italian restaurant we passed. When dinner wrapped up and he returned from the restroom, he suggested we dart out without paying. I was stunned. He was fully serious, beckoning me – “This is the way in Berlin! You see if you can get away with it! Let’s go!”

Minutes (ok seconds) later, he finally relents, “Don’t worry, I already paid!” Relief. Laughter. A perfect example of his light-heartedness and humor. I had fully planned to split the bill so this news was a bit of a disappointment (as I said, it was very overpriced!)

The main thing that gives me pause about Quinn is his lack of ambition. I knew from experience that I’m not well-balanced with someone who is so passive, giving, and selfless. I know, it sounds like a dream- but I know myself, and I need someone who pushes me forward rather than pulls me back. I made a decision– that I would not follow up unless he does first, but I will certainly go out with him again if he is bold enough to ask. It’s not a made-up test, it’s a important attribute to me that I need to see him demonstrate. I think he had fun meeting me, but no idea whether he’ll break through his shyness to reach out to me again!