I’m not going for nice and stable. Not a huge new learning, but a good reminder.

When I was 26 I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. Till today, he was the kindest and smartest boyfriend I’ve ever had. He was funny, extremely caring, interested in the world, successful (while still having a life!), wanted children …. the perfect guy. We dated for almost 5 years. Until I felt that he was about to propose soon. He started talking more and more about the house we’d buy in Munich’s suburbs, or careers, family life etc. I saw my life flying by in front of my eyes. I wasn’t ready. Today, he has a wife, child and most likely the house in the suburb as well.

And me? Still not ready for that type of life. Any maybe never ready. It’s just the vision I have for myself. I want to settle, yes. But I’m not going for “too nice”, “too predicable”, “too stable”….dare I say “too boring”

Ivan was the definition of the above. Senior engineer at on of Germany’s largest companies – has been there for a decade and loves the stability. Divorced with 2 children, goes on vacation twice a year, has bought a house because that’s what you do, didn’t appreciate his ex-wife spending too much money.

We met for après-work drinks. It was a very nice evening, but I played a role. I gave him the answers he wanted to hear because he was nice and I knew we wouldn’t see each other again. It was the easiest way out. I couldn’t help but wonder why I didn’t ask him more questions before meeting. What could I have asked that would have indicated him being “too stable” for me? Without filtering out people too quickly. Is it the dreams in life? The biggest rule he has ever broken? The risks he has taken? What he’s looking for in a woman? His biggest strengths? I’m not sure yet, but will explore further!