This date was challenging. I knew that it would be. I knew Gilead from before. One of my closest friends introduced us when Gilead was visiting Dubai a few months back. We had a great night out and exchanged some (drunk, but passionate) kisses towards the end of the night. He left me confused. On the one hand he was exhausting. On the other hand he was interesting and very sexy. He always felt like unfinished business. Hence I said yes without hesitation when he told me he’d pass by Berlin and asked whether he could stay with us over the weekend.

He arrived on Friday evening. I had to work till 11pm and Gilead came by with with a friend the moment I finished work. The 4 of us (Valentina came back from her date around midnight and was greeted with lots of cheering and questions on Xavier. I love our high school students moments!) had drinks in our kitchen, celebrated the start of the weekend and such a great evening. Off to a good start!

The next day Gilead and I went sailing with my sister and her family. The boat was located an hour outside of Berlin. The drive there was where the issues started. He talks. A lot. And has a view on everything. “I have maximum interest in everything”, as he told Valentina later the weekend. I know that he means well. He’s a journalist by profession and used to try to get to the bottom of everything. The problem is that in social interactions sometimes we don’t want to get analysed. Sometimes we just want to laugh, share information, vent, dream or even enjoy silence.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being challenged intellectually. But it takes a lot for me to feel challenged. There’s a big risk that I feel annoyed, attacked or simply overwhelmed and tired instead. And that’s pretty much how I felt the entire day. Even him being amazing with my nice and nephew didn’t help. No “Window into the future“-moment.

He got my negatives vibes. The drive home was loooong. Nevertheless we had a very nice dinner with Valentina and went to bed completely exhausted from being outside all day long. I made a huge exception and allowed my dog in bed as a living barrier between the two of us. Just to avoid any awkward moment.

We had ups and downs this weekend. Reflecting back I think I put him under too much pressure. If I’d have seen him simply as a friend, I’d have let go of all my expectations and we’d simply have had a fun weekend. But I’m on a quest. Pn the bright side, the unfinished business has been finished. No more questions or doubts….it’s a no (from both of us!)